Darren Douglas Floyd
Cart 0
Cart 0
Darren Douglas Floyd
motion picture artist

if on occasion i have wondered

2024

It was after our breakup,
She asked me to split it.
I fitted the check
With no note
Into the crack
Of her door
Relieved she wasn’t home.

If there were a lost one
That I never knew,
I would pity the fat fool,
Worry for their mental
And pray they abstained.

If on occasion I have wondered
Who that person might have been,
I apologize.



I think of the ones I spared
Never to exist.
No angry mornings, no dangerous nights,
No slow build of psychic pressure
Only later to blow.

I never wanted to pass down
This billowing body,
This meandering mind.
I thought I would not have the courage
To love you through it.

If On Occasion I Have Wondered
2024
Video Poem, sound
1:15

 Rotoscope Drawing

2023

white sphere_001.jpg

I Want Out Of This Body

2022

I WANT OUT OF THIS BODY
2022
3 Channel Animation
:30s, Loop

 
 

3D Animation Loops

molecular Covid

 
 
Covid 1AOI_160.png

Drastic Treatment

a zine



Drastic Treatment was originally published as a social media essay via darrendouglasfloyd.com and pushed to Twitter, Instagram and Facebook two posts per day between December 25th, 2019 and January 16, 2020.

Click to read the full zine. Drastic Treatment

Experimental essay about masculinity, prostate cancer, androgen deprivation therapy, eunuchs, castrati, and spadones. Proposal for critical spado studies, a subfield of gender studies, concerned with understanding masculinities through the lens of the spado: a masculine critical identity from which gender, sexuality, society and politics can be viewed and understood uniquely.

 
 

2D Animation Loops, with zine

troubling bodies

 
 
donald oval office pattern_00000.png

Something Wasn’t Right

An exhibition of zines and looping animations developed from the content of the CancerGram.

 
 

3D Animation

moire sins

 
 
Moire Sins_Face.jpg

Streaming

Self Portrait As A Live Streamer
2018
HD Digital Video, sound
2:58

Created using Signal Culture apps during a live streaming event.

CancerStream
2018
HD Digital Video, sound
2:01

 
 

Zine with 2D Looping Animation

FROM THE MIDDLE OF RADIATION
THROUGH A FEW WEEKS AFTERWARD

 
 
CancerGram Pt2 ReOrder.00_08_59_13.Still014.png

I Have No Children

2014
1:06
16mm color film, transferred to video, digital video, sound

 

I Don't Think That Way Anymore

2014
3:50
16mm color film, transferred to video, digital video, sound

Destroyer of Dreams, Or, Container of All Future Meaning

2014
16mm color film and digital video
Experimental Documentary Film
14:23

At the age of 37, I experienced a sudden and surprising moment of clarity: I want to be a father. Realizing that my future child would only know me as an older man, I began shooting a filmed letter on 16mm to help explain who I was before s/he was born.

My Life Is A Beautiful Dream

2013
:55
Digital video with sound

She Might Have Been Your Mother

2013
2:20
Digital video with sound

My Life Is A Hideous Nightmare

2013
1:10
Digital video with sound

Melancholy Birthday

2011
single channel digital video, sound
2:59, loop

What Will Become
Of Her

2011
single channel digital video, sound
3:06, loop

This Is My Life

2011
single channel digital video, sound
3:00, loop

Installation view, Melancholy Birthday, What Will Become Of Her, and This Is My Life, 2011

Installation view, Melancholy Birthday, What Will Become Of Her, and This Is My Life, 2011

There's Nothing Wrong With Me That Hasn't Always Been Wrong With Me

2012
16mm film transferred to video
9-channel video installation, silent
:27, loop

Installation View of There's Nothing Wrong With Me That Hasn't Always Been Wrong With Me, 2012

Installation View of There's Nothing Wrong With Me That Hasn't Always Been Wrong With Me, 2012

The Bolex film camera has been an important tool in my work.  I have considered the length of a Bolex shot as a conceptual container for moving images. These shots, about 27 seconds in length on my camera, lend themselves well to portraits, self-portraits and continuously moving landscape shots that I call ‘continuations’. I have made several multi-channel video pieces using grids of small monitors with a single 27-second shot on each monitor.  What Is Wrong With Me Has Always Been Wrong With Me is a set of nine self-portraits taken over a decade of shooting.

Installation View of There's Nothing Wrong With Me That Hasn't Always Been Wrong With Me, 2012

Installation View of There's Nothing Wrong With Me That Hasn't Always Been Wrong With Me, 2012

Search For The Future

2010
16mm film transferred to video
5-channel video installation
various lengths, loop

Self-Portrait As A Christain Saint

2009
single channel digital video
1:53, loop

Self-Portrait As Contented Madonna

2009
single channel digital video
1:53, loop

Self-Portrait As A Minor Cardinal

2009
single channel digital video
1:53, loop

How To Live

2009
16mm color, transferred to video
Experimental Narrative
2:01

When How To Live Was Undecided

2009
16mm color, transferred to video
Experimental Narrative
14:30

The Hope EP

2008
16mm film transferred to video
5-channel video installation
various lengths, loop

Get In Here

Cancergram

Drastic Treatment Drastic Treatment was originally published as a social media essay via darrendouglasfloyd.com and pushed to Twitter, Instagram and Facebook two posts per day between December 25th, 2019 and January 16, 2020. Drastic Treatment Experimental essay about masculinity, prostate cancer, androgen deprivation therapy, eunuchs, castrati, and spadones. Proposal for critical spado studies, a subfield of gender studies, concerned with understanding masculinities through the lens of the spado: a masculine critical identity from which gender, sexuality, society and politics can be viewed and understood uniquely.
Zilch I have nothing. Nothing and no one. The job is gone. The dog is gone. Desire is gone. The PSAs are undetectable, so maybe the cancer is gone. It looks like I will live. They won’t call it remission officially until it has been 5 years cancer free. Let’s just call it rim noises for now. The doddering turd needs to be pushed out. What am I going to do? I would like to live as I am: spado grace. I’d like to make the work I can make. Negotiate my own desperate traumas. Change and be changed. This essay, the one you have been reading twice a day for three weeks, is some of it. About a month ago, not long before I started pushing this essay out into the social world, I was taken off the ADT. If the cancer comes back, they’ll put me back on it. If not, maybe I’ll get stronger and be able to function normally and work again. The plan is to live like I’ll never die. No more waiting.