Back again for another round of scans. Same place as I was three years ago when I first got my cancer scans. CT Scan and a Bone Scan. Last time they found cancer. What will they find this time?
One of the features of my cancer experience is that I go to all of the appointments alone. I suppose it’s a feature of my life in general. I’ve done them all alone, the scans and tests and results and diagnoses.
The appointments seem innocuous. It’s just a test. Just a scan. No big deal. We just want to check. Lots of them are curious or inconclusive or weird. Another test is needed. Higher resolution imaging or a biopsy.
Then suddenly it’s fucking brutal. The news it shockingly bad. But you just walk out into the sun and go for sushi. Then your whole life gets ruined and you never really get better.