Sexuality

Sexuality

There was a time in my life when I thought everything was sex, or about sex.  Desire was so pervasive that I couldn’t see outside of it.  

It’s what everyone wants to be doing, it’s the big economy, right?  (A. Brewer, 1999)

With this new body and no libido, I feel outside of the thing that motivated me.  Listening to other men talk about sex is like sandpaper on the brain.

What happens to identity in the absence of desire?  “Desire is significant to these identities tho, no?”  Yes. Both heteronormative and queer masculinities have, built in, the fundamental concept of desire:  The orientation.  

I have been dis-oriented.  I want for no body. I observe beauty, but I’m not pulled.  No one approaches me. I have received a reprieve or a bit of grace.  

Individuals who identify with gray asexuality are referred to as being gray-A, a grace or a gray ace, and make up what is referred to as the ‘ace umbrella.’ (K. McGowan, 2015)